"Chowderhead Series" heats up

Yankees sign BoSox reliever

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (RWN) - The chowder just got a little spicier, courtesy of the Hot Stove League.

Earlier today, the Providence Yankees announced they had signed Boston Red Sox starter Bilal Hemingway to a three-year contract worth upwards of $37 million.

"He's the premier free-agent starter in the league," Yankees General Manager Tom Kepner said. "And it's rare that you get to help yourself and hurt your bitterest rivals. Allah has been good to us."

Hemingway went 19-2 with a 3.01 ERA last season, striking out 190 in 198 innings while only walking 41. He's known for his fierce scowl on the mound and his backdoor slider.

He's also known for killing the Yankees. The 27-year-old righthander has a lifetime 9-1 record against the Yankees, and an ERA of 0.95.

"He killed us every time he was out there," Kepner said. "We needed to get him."

Fan reaction was immediate and intense.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!," a Red Sox fan with the handle "CS384EVA" wrote on one of the team's Internet board. "This can't be happening. How can they have so much money after leaving New York? No way can Providence can handle this. And what was Hemingway thinking? He was a fan fave up here and the first time he walks a batter in Prov, they're going to be throwing rotten fruit at him."

Yankee fans were exultant.

"Praise Allah, Praise Allah," 'The Whammer' called in to a Providence sports-radio show. "Kepner is really showing his big brassy ones right now. He knows what he needs and he's going out and getting it. I can't wait 'til Hemingway goes back to Boston and sticks it to those Papist bastards."

Hemingway, for his part, was somewhat understated.

"It's a great honor to be playing for the Yankee organization," he said at a news conference. "Boston was a good organization, but at some point, I need to take care of my family and the Providence offer really was head-and-shoulders above the Red Sox offer in that regard."


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